A(nother) Rain Day in Gyumri

 

I could have titled this blog post on any of the past three days.
The gray pre-winter weather has settled in to Gyumri. Rain falls for a few hours, then the sun breaks through and you forget that is was wet and cold.
I set off on four walks yesterday, not minding the wet because before long, the sky clears. As you can see, weddings happen even in the rain.

Oh what to tell you?

How I wish I had packed more than two books? I finished Patricia McNair’s “And These Are the Good Times” last night. I am hopeful that my host here at Villa Kars has a book in English in his vast library, filled with books in Italian (Graham Greene, Charles Bukowski, Richard Wilbur, Walt Whitman.) Not so many in English.

 

Rain does not stop joy

a rainy day wander in the Gyumri Market

 

How I really don’t mind the many hours I spend alone? My translators and I spend many hours shoulder to shoulder while I teach or navigate organizations in Gyurmi. But on a day off, which I am quite pleased for really scheduling and holding to, I spend hours alone. I can gather lunch and dinner well enough on my own. As long as I don’t need anything dramatic, I can traverse the daylight hours. Yesterday I wandered the market, which is a hub in this city of 120,000. There were many vendors selling pickled everything. I made myself look at all the buckets of animal parts for sale. If I am going to live among these people, I have to see what they are eating. The mounds of fresh spices endlessly fascinate me. Honestly though, I have not eaten much that is spiced with what I see. There is also a really scary looking cheese that they love. I have not found the courage to photograph it yet. I am not a thrill seeking photographer; more a documentarian of what delights me. I will keep you posted on that.

 

Rain means soup, right?

How I crave a home cooked meal? Yesterday I spent two hours at the foundation which will host me this coming Friday to teach a group of ten teen photographers for five days. KASA Foundation provides many valued services to this community, among them after-school programs for teens. The staff has lunch together every day that is cooked by the woman in charge of housekeeping, Hasmik. While I met with my contact over tea in the kitchen, Hasmik sautéed onion, chopped fresh greens and potatoes, stirred lentils in to the soup pot and let it simmer. When she invited me to join them for lunch I declined. BIG MISTAKE. Don’t decline an Armenian offer of hospitality. The look on Hasmik’s face was one of shock and a bit of disdain. How could I have said no? I immediately rescinded and pulled up to the lunch table set with steaming soup bowls and fresh salad. Okay. I cried. The soup and company were warming. We talked, the languages around the table varying from Armenian, to Russian, to French, and occasionally to English. I was happier than ever.

How I am, still, really happy here? Oh let me tell you, this past week’s workshop with beginning artists was more successful than I projected. I teach in many settings, I welcome new writers and book artists to my table everywhere I go. But this group seemed reluctant to dive in on day one. Ani and I were worried. But Ani also reminded me that Armenians could be shy in new settings. New Illuminations introduces them to an intimate group circle where we do breathing exercises, yoga, and write. This is new territory for all of them. Can I describe to you the joy I sense when after two writing sessions every day, on day four the sweet scribbling that goes on tells me, yes, this workshop has reached them. They are in the flow of energy that rises from consistently pressing in to creative practice. More and more I leave open time in circle for questions and discussion, in my classes in the US and here in Armenia. Holding space for what rises up is really worth including in my planning because those inquiries which are generated by the immediate content often bring forward teaching points for which I could not plan.
So yes, I am completely happy.

 

How I am once again, missing my daughter’s birthday by being away from her general vicinity?

When I plot this trip, fitting it in to the season before the holidays, but after the high season of travel in Armenia, several significant events have to be missed. I just cannot make every single thing work. If I am home by Thanksgiving, but also home for the mid-October long weekend when the kids come home from school, AND teach three workshops in Armenia over three weekends and give myself time to adapt to the 9 hour time change, that means I miss Catherine’s birthday on November 10. I know, what kind of mother misses her child’s 20th birthday? I am. That would be me. Cat and I discuss this during my planning stages and she says, “Oh Mom, it is okay. We will celebrate when you get home. And really, I want to be on campus anyway, so if you were home, we wouldn’t do anything on that day anyway.” So I make my plans. Then, as the date approaches, my heart gets achy and I get texts from her that read, “Mom, I have been thinking of you so much. I cannot wait to see you.” I just have to attend to the ache and be patient. But when Karina, one of the artists in the beginning workshop, walked in on Monday with her 3-year-old daughter Satenik, my eyes spewed tears. Yes, it is something Cat and I agreed upon. But my heart knows more.

rain clears in the central square of Gyumri

There are some wonderful developments about this project which you can read about over on the New Illuminations blog. The space you are currently reading is my personal blog where I write about daily creative practice, about teaching, and where I am in the world. The New Illuminations blog is solely about that project. You can join that mailing list here.

I hope your days are filled with joy. I am struck by the continued flow of difficult news from the US, the shooting in Texas, the revelations about sexual misconduct in the entertainment industry–about which I have a few big questions. How come when something is revealed about a man’s indiscretions to another man, immediate action is taken, the accused is dropped by his television show and his talent agency and all hell breaks loose but when a woman makes a similar accusation about a man, there are prolonged investigations, legal proceedings and proving beyond any doubt?

That is a topic for another day.

 

For now, I look out on the rain in the golden apple tree outside my door and am grateful for time to write, to catch up with you from here.

 

I send you all my love from Gyumri,

Suzi

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Showing 10 comments
  • Lynne V

    Thanks for this post Suzi. It really speaks to me about the emotional truth of things, it brings me up close to the rain and the people and things of this far away land.

    • Suzi

      Thank you Lynne. I am looking forward to having my hands on your book. Congratulations! xoS

  • Evelyn Asher

    Suzi, I love every moment you have shared on your third journey to Gyumri. You are the best teacher, ambassador, mother from the sisterhood of “can’t be everywhere but the heart knows”, blogger, artist. You take me right there, wherever you are at the moment bridging humanity. Safe journey.

    • Suzi

      Thank you Evelyn. You are a fit ambassador for New Illuminations and I appreciate you sharing this project with your friends. It is morning here, time for a few hours of art and writing on my own. Happy to have time to follow my “normal” schedule here. Lots of love, S

  • Julie Bond Genovese

    OOooooo how I LOOOOOVE your travels and messages from afar! I’m with you, in the beauty of the teaching, the revelations, the oneness and the tears! Thank you sistah, with much love and autumn admiration XOxoxox

    • Suzi

      Thank you Julie dear! I am thrilled to hear from you here. Twirl a golden leaf for me today and I will spin one for you. All my love, S

  • Julie Lambert

    Thank you for taking us along on this journey, Suzi. For one, my husband is Armenian, and therefore, my 4 children are Armenian. We sometimes talk about going to Armenia as a family, although the only things my husband knows how to say in Armenian are, “happy Easter,” and “you are growing like a weed.” 🙂 Also, when I first glances at the mandala of the books, I thought the outside rings were small doors they made and the inside rings were windows. Interesting. I appreciate what you said about leaving time, lots of time, for questions. I need to remember this when I begin to teach. Thank you!

    • Suzi

      Julie, please put Armenia on your travel plan. There are hundreds of reasons to visit this place, to see and hear and witness this proud persistent nation making it’s way in to the future. I hope you can get here with your family. I recommend reading Peter Balakian’s book, Black Dogs of Fate. It is hard reading, but also very beautifully and tenderly told about his awakening to his Armenian heritage as an American young man. xoS

  • Barb Buckner Suarez

    SBB – I am SO happy for you and all the ripples you are creating in Armenia. The pictures of the art that these women are making collectively brings me incredible joy. Please keep the photos coming! -It amazes me how talented you are in so many different types of media! Seriously… If I had the creativity that exists in your tiny left toe, I would be SO lucky. Having friends like you is inspiring! I am vicariously traveling with you, tucked away in your front shirt pocket, soaking it all in. Much love to you! XO BBS

    • Suzi

      Oh you are in my pocket, Barb! For sure. I am in yours. Congratulations on all the publications of late. And for your wonderful momentum. Here is lots of love to you and your brood. Love and hugs, SBB